Iso by Sam Peterson
I’m always hearing these days that iso is really bad for people’s mental health, but what about the iso I have lived through every day of my life?
I have felt iso in so many ways.
When I was in hospital, and needed help, the nurses told me off for buzzing.
The hours and hours I spent literally trapped in bed.
Everyone talking and me being unable to compete.
When I miss the train because I couldn’t get to the front carriage in time and the whole platform is empty, except for me.
When a uni class mate ran up to the front of the train and made it wait for me and then said I’m going to sit with the others. They had got on before me, in the part of the train where I couldn’t go.
The hours I sat out of class because it wasn’t accessible to me.
Life that isn’t accessible to me.
Hours I spent alone as a kid waiting to “get better” and march out as an example to the world that it can be done.
Instead, having those very important years shrivel up to nothing except the utter loneliness.
The days and days of your early adulthood spent at home because I didn’t have the means of going out with my disability.
All of the holidays I didn’t go on because I didn’t have the means to travel with my disability.
All of the big events I don’t get invited to because I’m not close to many people because people don’t notice you when you have a disability.
and/or it’s not accessible to me.
When they did finally come, having to say no to going out to party at the last minute, because you were just too tired.
What about me?
WHAT ABOUT ME!!?
I feel forgotten by the media and- ergo- people, and there is a dangerous virus out there, threatening the health of me, my support and those I love and of course I would like to finally see the world one day, but in a way eye-so has been good for me,
Everyone has had to slow down to my level and now my access is their access and our access has improved.
I never felt so connected.
And now goodbye